Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Do you ever have that little voice inside your head that asks you, are you doing enough?
Especially around this time of year with Christmas and everything else, like, are you doing enough? Are you serving enough? Are you making a big enough difference? Are you impacting enough people for Jesus? Do you have that voice ever speaking into your head?
I know that I do.
I know that. I feel like that voice is a pretty constant rhythm in my head. And I'm always questioning, like, am I doing enough? Like, as a Christian, am I serving enough? Am I making a big enough difference? And I kind of label that the Christian guilt of our culture. Like, we're just kind of always under that little bit of guilt, like, ah, I should be doing more. Oh, I could always be doing more. Do more, do more, do more.
[00:00:56] Speaker A: And I think some of that guilt that we have, based on what I've been studying over the last couple of weeks, is connected to the fact that the way that we view service in our culture and in our mentality might just be just a hair off of the way that Jesus taught us to think about service in his culture and in his teaching. And as I've. I've been studying that and thinking about that, I've thought about this morning and this conversation that we're going to have. And if I just had one thing that you were going to take away this morning, it would be that you could serve people and serve your community and do it without any guilt. That that guilt would just be removed, that it would be something you would be able to do with joy and just a whole heart.
Our primary text today is going to be Ephesians chapter two, and we're going to be looking at verses three through seven. And in those verses we're going to learn about what Jesus teaches us about his servant nature.
Verse 3 of Philippians 2. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, rather in humility.
Value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests, but each of you to the interests of the other in your relationships with one another. Have the same mindset as Christ Jesus, who, being in very nature, God did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage.
Rather, he.
[00:02:40] Speaker A: Made Himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant being made in human likeness.
So Jesus took on the very nature of being a servant.
Think about that. God himself came down to earth and took on the very nature of being a servant.
If we are to understand what service looks like and plays out like, all we have to do is look at him because he took the very Nature of what? A servant in this earthly life. We can look at his life and his teaching and say that's what the very nature of service is. That is what we could emulate. That's what we would want to emulate. And I'm not going to make you sit around while I talk about a bunch of scriptures and, and hide what the answer is.
Because the answer is just simply that Jesus served people relationally.
That's what he did. Jesus served people relationally. If you think about service, there's kind of two ways to think about it. There's a relational component and there's a component that is about doing stuff.
And when we look at Jesus's life and teaching, we see that Jesus served people relationally. Even going back to what we just read in Philippians 2, verse 3. Again, do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, rather in humility.
Value others above yourself.
Not looking to your own interests, but each of you to the interests of the others in your relationships with one another. Have the same mindset.
Christ Jesus, the same mindset.
Verse 5 says the same mindset. What is that mindset? Go to verse seven.
The very nature of a servant. Jesus took on the very nature of a servant. Therefore he had the mindset of a servant.
[00:04:40] Speaker A: Well, what would be characteristics of what that would look like? Well, verse three says that he teaches us to value others above ourselves.
To value someone above myself means that I have to at some level connect with them.
I have to spend some time. I have to invest in something relational. If I'm going to value you, that's where you're going to feel that value that I have done that and spent that time.
Verse 4 says that we look to the interests of others. Well, how do we look to the interests of people we don't even know? I mean, I can look at someone in the distance and kind of like guess what their interests might be.
But if I'm gonna really understand what the interests and what the things are that you value, I have to be in relationship. I have to connect with you at some level.
Think of it this way. Let's say I was gonna rally 10 of you and we were gonna go down to Habitat for Humanity next Saturday.
We're going to go and Habitat's going to send us to re roof a mobile home of someone in our community who's in need.
There's kind of two ways that could play out.
Honestly, if it was left to my vices and the way that I'm wired, it's going to be Very task oriented. We're going to get there Saturday morning and we are going to bust this out, man. Let's get ladders. Let's get supplies. Put, put them up. Strip that stuff off the roof. Bang, bang, bang. Lay paper shingles, Bam. High fives. We're done. Fist pumps with the family on our way out. Peace out. We're done.
We accomplished the task. We made a difference. We served our community well.
That's honestly how I would probably go about it.
I think the way that Jesus would go about it, I think it would look a lot different. I think he'd grab 10 of you and he'd. He'd go to that home that Saturday morning and he probably gently knock on the door and he would have picked up coffee and he'd invite that family into a conversation. He would engage with them. He would learn about their life and the struggles and maybe the reasons why they're in the position they're in, that they had to reach out to Habitat to give them help with their house.
And then he would probably empathize with them.
And after spending an inordinate and inefficient amount of time, he would go outside with those 10 and they'd strip off the roof and lay the paper and put the shingles down and then they'd come off that roof. And he probably wouldn't even look up at what they had accomplished because he'd probably be looking into the eyes of those he accomplished it for and reconnecting with them relationally and spending more time.
Totally inefficient.
[00:07:32] Speaker A: But I think that's what Jesus would have done.
And I think that's a difference in maybe how our culture views it or how I viewed service. Often I view service so much about the task, doing the thing.
And my gut is that Jesus values the task. But I think he would say it's probably about 20% what service looks like.
The 80% of what service looks like is how are you investing in people? How are you projecting value into their lives?
How are you learning the interests about who they are and what they care about?
[00:08:13] Speaker A: Might come as a surprise, but occasionally around here I get suggestions from folks about things we should do.
[00:08:20] Speaker A: And often people will suggest, you know, journey's a big place, there's a lot of manpower here. You know, what we should do is we should get 100 or 200 people and we should go attack this issue in our community or go do this thing or this service project in our community.
There's nothing inherently wrong with that. In fact, it's a good thing to go do those things and. And make that difference and do the acts of service.
But I think sometimes when we go into it with the mentality that we're just going to attack this thing, that we lose track of the people that the thing impacts.
And I think that's where Jesus would call us, to serve people relationally and make that difference.
I think sometimes we almost let ourselves off the hook.
Like, if you go about the habitat house, the way I do, it lets you off the hook as it relates to people.
And Jesus just seemingly cared about people in every way possible because Jesus served people relationally.
[00:09:31] Speaker A: I think a counter to the idea of let's rally a couple hundred people and go do this thing is what if you're in a small group and the eight of you decide, you know what, we're kind of passionate about this need in our community, why don't the eight of us go invest in some people that that infects? Let's go meet those people and talk to those people and hear their stories and understand what it is they're about, and let's make a difference and do actions in that context.
That could be just a few friends, that could be some people in your office or your workspace that you could take small groups of people and go out and make those impactful difference. To me, that feels a little bit more aligned with what Jesus might teach us to do.
We have to remember, though, that Jesus loved people relationally.
I think back to this last summer. I led a team. It was nine of us. We went to Ethiopia to serve at Elevate Orphan, to serve the staff of Elevate Orphan as well as the kids in that environment.
[00:10:36] Speaker A: But we didn't just like get on the plane and go there. We started in February with training where we would meet and we would talk about all the cultural things they're going to experience, the various just environments experiences, and trying to prepare people to engage in a third World culture that is quite a bit different than what we experience here today, day to day.
And it was interesting at the end of those early meetings, as the team would be finished with the training, I would just open it up and say, hey, do you have any questions?
And obviously there were some logistical questions like, when are we leaving? And, you know, what time's the flight? And stuff like that.
But a lot of the questions in those first few weeks centered around the idea of what are we going to do?
Like, are we going to build something? Are we going to teach something?
Like, are we gonna Fix something. What are we gonna do to make a difference?
Almost like the only way that we make a difference in the idea of service is we do something.
[00:11:40] Speaker A: Now, not everyone in here is gonna go on one of our short term missions. But I would tell you, for those that do, let me just give you a little insight of what's about to happen we're gonna do. But that's about 20% of what those mission trips are about.
What it's really about is us going in and connecting relationally with people, offering value to people, learning about their interests, caring for them, and getting involved in their lives and actually getting to know people.
Because someone who's grown up in destitute poverty, they don't believe they have any value.
And you can build the house or you can do the thing all day and night, but if they sit in that house and they don't believe they have value, frankly doesn't make a difference.
And that's where Jesus comes in and says, invest in people relationally.
You might say, what does that tangibly look like?
Just a couple examples from Ethiopia.
As we went through our training, I talked to our team about going over there and learning someone's name.
Sentayu is his name.
Learn his name, remember his name from day to day, use his name in conversation, let him know that you value him as a person, that he exists, that you traveled 6,000 miles to invest in him as a person, know someone's name.
[00:13:06] Speaker A: Other things that we would do, we would sit and have coffee for hours and hear stories. How did you get to the place where you're at? It might have been a staff member who's explaining to us all the steps of their life that led them to this ministry they now serve in.
And we just invest in those relationships. Did we do stuff? Absolutely. We taught English and all kinds of really valuable skills.
But that was 20% of what we did. What we did is invested in people.
You might say to me, well, what would that look like here? I'm not going to Ethiopia anytime soon. What's it look like here on the ground Bosom of Montana right now?
I can give you lots of examples.
What if you were to mourn with those that mourn? That's what Jesus talks about in Romans. He talks about it, or Paul talks about. In Romans, Jesus talks about Sermon on the Mount. Like, what if someone loses someone a lot of times around the church? What we'll do is we'll create a meal train and we'll provide them dinners for several weeks to try and just take that burden off them, man, that is so valuable. That is so amazing that people do that. And that action really, really matters.
But where I might offer you a bit of challenge just to say, is that 20% all you got?
What about the relational element for the person who's going through grief?
Can you step into that? Can you get into the uncomfortable and the messy of life?
Can you sit down and just listen as they vent and deal with the struggles that they're dealing with as they experience loss?
[00:14:40] Speaker A: That's the 80%. That's where Jesus killed it. He was so good at investing and connecting with people relationally.
What about around here? There are people that serve you coffee every week. Anyone thankful that they have nice warm coffee every week? I'm not much of a coffee drinker, but you all look really happy after your coffee. I'm not so sure before, but after you look really happy.
If you were to serve on that team, what would this look like?
The 20% is hot coffee.
The creamer's full, the cups are stocked. Super important. You're not getting coffee without that. But that's a 20%. The 80% is just engaging with people. It's a kind smile. It's, how are you doing? It might be someone you sense it's hurting. Can I pray for you?
Is there anything you need?
That's the 80% relational.
What if you were to go serve down at base camp and serve our kids, right?
Teach the lesson.
[00:15:43] Speaker A: Try and keep them coloring somewhat legibly. I don't know, but that's your 20%, right? The lesson, the coloring, the engagement.
But the relational piece is what matters. Those kids are not going to remember five minutes after they finished coloring that camel that that's what they did.
But there are all kinds of people that have stories of Sunday school teachers that change their life.
[00:16:07] Speaker A: It's relational.
It's when we connect with people in that way that makes the difference. And that's what Jesus did. Jesus served people relationally.
I think the best example of that is his teaching in the Gospel of Luke.
In the Gospel of Luke, Jesus encounters these two sisters.
These two sisters served Jesus and the disciples and some of their followers in very distinctly different ways. And Jesus has an opportunity to teach on that.
Luke, chapter 10. Starting in verse 38, as Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him.
She had a sister called Mary who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said.
But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. You see the contrast.
Martha is the 20%. It's super important that stuff has to get done. But she's so focused on that that she forgets and loses track completely of the 80% relational.
And on the contrast to that is Mary who's just sitting there intently listening and engaging relationally with Jesus.
The passage continues and says she martha came to him and asked, lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself?
Tell her to help me.
Martha, Martha, the Lord answered, you are worried and upset about many things, but few are needed. Indeed only one.
Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken from her.
Jesus has the perfect opportunity to let us know what he values when it comes to service.
We've got Martha who's doing the things and committed to that, and he doesn't devalue that.
That is important.
But he clearly shows that Mary's attentiveness to him relationally and to the disciples relationally is of value and he cares for that and he speaks to that.
And I think about that even in the context of like day to day around journey.
There are people that contact us or come by the office in need of action.
They might be hurting for rent or grocery money or gas money or whatever it might be, and they come by or they reach out and those things matter and we need to address those and we need to take care of those active needs. Right.
We have a benevolence fund that does that and we have people that jump on that.
But if we stop there, if we ignore the relational element, we're missing this big opportunity.
I can tell you that of the people that reach out to us via phone, email, or stop by in person, it is probably 20 to 1 that are seeking some tangible, specific need to be addressed versus the people that are lonely, that lack deep friendships, that are new to the area and don't have community, that are in a marriage where there's separation and distance. Relationally, the people that are coming by and reaching out overwhelmingly are reaching out, seeking that relational connection.
They're lacking that in their lives. That's what's happening in our society day over day.
Heck, it happened to me last weekend, last Sunday. I was just in that place where we all get to things are just not good. I'm frustrated, whatever, and I just needed to vent.
And my wife sat on the couch probably for like a couple hours and just had to hear me moan about all the things I was moaning about.
And she just sat there gently and listened it wasn't what she wanted to do.
She probably had a million things on her to do list that were more important in her mind than that. But her service toward me by just listening and engaging was so helpful. It's so what I needed in that moment. And there were things that needed to be done and chores and everything else, but in that moment, to serve in that way is untouchable.
[00:20:38] Speaker A: And do not hear me say something I'm not saying. The tangible needs have to be met. We live in Bozeman, man. Sidewalks got to be shoveled all the time.
People need meals.
People are moving from place to place and need people to help, and we need to do that. All I'm encouraging us to do is when we look at those opportunities, do we look at those as, I'm just going to get a task done and check out, or do I look at it as an opportunity where I get to connect with someone relationally? Maybe there's something else going on in their life where I can connect with them in a way that might make a difference and help them as they move from day to day.
And I think that's what Mary captures.
Mary's just sitting intently listening to Jesus and connecting relationally.
[00:21:28] Speaker A: And that's what Jesus does. Jesus serves people relationally. That's what he's about.
He even said that if you go to Matthew, chapter 20, verse 28, it says, the Son of Man.
That's just the way that Jesus talks about himself. He's just referring to himself. The Son of man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many. Jesus came to serve and give his life as a ransom for many. We look at the cross and we go, wow, that is the ultimate act of service.
Jesus even talked about the idea that that is the most amazing thing you can do to give your life for another.
And here, even in the context of the cross.
[00:22:13] Speaker A: It'S 20% about the action.
[00:22:17] Speaker A: Jesus gave his life as a ransom for many. Why did he have to do that?
Page one of the Bible, God created. Page two, man and God are in perfect relationship.
Absolutely perfect relationship. Page three of the Bible, man screws up relationship and breaks it. And for the rest of the Old Testament, all we read about is different attempts to try and bridge the relational gap that has occurred between us and God, and even man and other man.
[00:22:50] Speaker A: And then Jesus comes in flesh.
He dies on the cross.
He's raised from the dead. Why?
Because it allows that relationship to be restored. It allows one who puts our faith in Christ to have a renewed relationship with God. It heals relationships between people.
The cross, the act of service of the cross is more about relationship than anything else.
It's about restoring relationships.
[00:23:23] Speaker A: So that's how Jesus looks at relationship. I was thinking about, how do I look at service and relationship? Like, how does that connect?
Because if I'm honest, the 20% appeals to me. I can check the box, I can do the thing, I can accomplish a task, and I can move on to the next task, to the next thing.
And as I've been thinking about that, as I've been preparing for this conversation, I kind of got to the place where I'm not so sure that the guilt I hear from that voice in my head that says, do more, do more, do more, isn't connected to that.
That in fact, what I'm doing is I'm doing the task. But the tasks are never ending.
[00:24:11] Speaker A: The sidewalk will always be needing shoveling.
Dinner happens every single night, right?
And so because I'm always in the task, task, task mode, all of a sudden I lose track of that relational connection. And the guilt I feel is from that or sourced out of that.
[00:24:31] Speaker A: And that kind of brought me to Galatians, chapter 5.
Galatians, chapter 5. Paul is teaching the church at Galatia about freedom.
He's teaching them about what it means to be free in Christ. That as a Christian, as a person who has put their faith in Jesus, we are free.
[00:24:52] Speaker A: Verse 13 says this.
You, my brothers and sisters, you were called to be free.
Not you like get to be free. Or it's kind of a side note. It is your calling. And as a person who has put their faith in Christ, you are called into freedom, free to use free.
But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh.
Rather, here's that word, serve one another humbly in love.
For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one commandment. Love your neighbor as yourself, as someone who has bent their knee to Christ. I am free. You are fully free.
Fully free. That means your time, your talents, your money. You can use it in any way you want. You have full and complete freedom to do that.
Now, Paul does offer the cautionary tale. Don't use it to indulge in your flesh, but rather use it to serve one another humbly in love.
[00:25:57] Speaker A: That you have an opportunity to serve one another humbly in love. And then he connects that to the royal law, Love your neighbor as yourself.
This idea of the mindset of Christ, this servant mindset, is one where service and love and relationship all seem to come together and give us freedom in how we serve, approach others.
[00:26:27] Speaker A: And so if Jesus looks at service and love and relationship and my neighbor all in that same vein, how much more do I need to do that?
Because Jesus served people relationally. And a lot of us look at Christianity and we say it's really about the royal law. Love God with all your heart, mind, soul, Love your neighbor as yourself.
Love God, love people just like Jesus. That's what it's about.
And yet I still have this sense of guilt or questioning around, am I doing enough?
Can I serve more?
Am I doing enough?
And so I was preparing for this. I meet with a group of guys on Tuesday mornings, kind of an accountability type group.
And I had been thinking a lot about this, and I was wanting to do kind of an experiment over the Thanksgiving weekend. I wanted to trial balloon before I have to stand in front of everybody and talk about this, I wanted to trial balloon. What does it look like to relationally serve my family over Thanksgiving weekend? Not just the tasks, but the relational element. How do I, how do I do that and do that well? So I told those guys that I needed them to hold me accountable, that I know the thing that keeps me from relationship most in life is without question in my hand.
It is the thing that distracts me from people. I don't know about you, you're probably way better folks than I am, but put this in my hand and I cannot look up.
[00:28:01] Speaker A: Right?
And so I told those guys, I'm gonna set that phone on the nightstand by my bed on Wednesday when I get home from work. And my intention is to leave that thing there for three days, 72 hours.
Now, if I'm going to touch it because I need to respond to a text, I'm going to do it at that nightstand and immediately set it back down and walk away.
And so I committed to doing that for 72 hours. There are some of you right now, especially younger, that are literally quivering. It's okay, I'm here to tell you you can do it.
But I did that for 72 hours Wednesday night, the first night of my experiment. I'm sitting on the couch, everybody spread throughout the house. We got nine people there.
My son in law, who lives in Colorado, comes down the stairs. He's been playing video games with my son upstairs. He comes down the stairs and it looks like he's just running quickly to go grab a drink of water, go back up and do the thing.
[00:29:00] Speaker A: And he stops, he sees me, and all of a sudden he takes a Left. And he comes over, he sits down next to me and he just starts talking. And he's got a ton of things on his mind and he just wants to get some thoughts and some advice and just have a conversation.
And five minutes turns into 15, turns into 30, turns into 45. Almost an hour later, we're sitting there talking undistracted. And I'm going, wow, I was just able to serve my son in law in that moment undistracted for that period of time.
The very next day, I'm sitting at the kitchen table, I'm playing a board game with two of my adult daughters. And we're playing the game and my wife comes in and she is doing just a bunch of small little tasks. She's been kind of just around, you know, just doing stuff, stuff that's got to be done.
And she's in the kitchen just right, right just a few feet from us and she is, is doing some stuff. And all of a sudden, you know what happens at the table?
Guilt.
[00:29:59] Speaker A: We're not doing stuff. We're just engaging in this game and relation. And that guilt seeps in, right? You know what I'm talking about.
And we're like, what do we do with that?
So we obviously ask, cause we're good people. We ask mom, you know, like, do you need help? And she's like, no, actually I don't. I'm just getting a couple things done that just take it off my list.
And it was in that moment I sat there and I went, wow.
[00:30:29] Speaker A: You can have freedom in service when you focus on relationship.
Because we didn't feel guilty, we sat there and we continued on with what we were doing. And she was able to do what she was doing. And there was nothing wrong with either. It wasn't better or worse, but it was this opportunity where all of a sudden that guilt that we're talking about, it's not there.
And it makes me think, wow, maybe a lot of the guilt that I have comes from this do, do, do mentality. Because we are a culture that values productivity, efficiency. I value efficiency, I love efficiency.
[00:31:11] Speaker A: But sometimes it distracts us from that relational connection and that ability to, to engage in that. And we, we leave meat on that proverbial service bone when we don't do that.
And that takes me back to Galatians 5. 13.
Look at it again. You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free.
[00:31:30] Speaker A: Not guilty, free.
And in that, serve one another humbly in love. How can you serve one another humbly in love if it's not somewhat in the context of relationship.
I believe that Jesus served people relationally.
[00:31:48] Speaker A: Now, my Thanksgiving story is just, you know, it is what it is. It's easy in some sense. Sometimes it's hard, but it's easy usually to serve those that are closest to you and care about and what I want to be committed to. And I don't have all the answers to, but I want to be committed to figuring out what does it look like to serve those I'm not the closest to. What about people in work environments or just people in the community? How do I do that service relationally, like the habitat illustration? How do I do that day to day to day to day to day without just being overwhelmingly focused on the tasks that are at hand? How do we do that?
That's what I want to figure out.
[00:32:30] Speaker A: So, friends, I've got a couple of things I want you to do. I'm going to give you one that you're going to do. Right now we're talking about service from a relational aspect. That means there's this 20% that's the action and there's the 80% that's the relational.
[00:32:48] Speaker A: Can you do this for me? Just close your eyes for 20 seconds, and I'm just going to ask you to think of the last time that you had an opportunity to serve someone and you did it.
And I want you to picture that moment where you're serving with them or serving them. And I'm going to give you like 20 seconds to evaluate that moment.
Were you focused on the relational aspect or the do aspect? And at what proportion? And just absorb that for a second. So you got about 20 seconds to think about that.
[00:33:36] Speaker A: Awesome.
Okay, so at some level, you now are thinking about what that looks like.
And what I have found as I've been playing that little game in my own life is that I'm pretty heavy toward the do, and I want to intentionally take steps to work toward being better at the relational investment.
And so I would just ask you, as kind of your homework, to be thinking about whatever that proportion was and how that played out for you.
Can you think about what tangible steps could you make to change that?
I made one tangible step for 72 hours, and it was transformative and its effect on me. Being able to be relational in a service aspect.
I don't know what that is for you. I wouldn't pretend to put that upon you, but I would encourage you to think heavily about what that might be and then try and enact that.
Because I believe sincerely that Jesus served people relationally, and we ought to follow that example.
Will you pray with me.
[00:34:48] Speaker A: Father? God, I am thankful for your teaching on Mary and Martha, helping us understand how much you value us investing in people as we serve them.
And I pray, Lord, that you would give us tangible changes to make in our lives or our mindsets that would make them more in alignment with you. That we might serve people with joy and peace and not out of guilt.
That we would have freedom in your name.
It's in that name that we pray.
Amen.
